My own experiences? I currently feel in a fog, so I’m turning to writing. I remember always being described as a shy kid. In high school, I remember on a 3 occasions breaking down and crying because I couldn’t clearly think, and felt like an idiot. Basically, I felt (and currently feel) as though I don’t have full control over my brain.
I went to a candle store today, and struck up a conversation with two lovely women. I felt no fear, no shame. I see a friend and a lot is going on. I suddenly can’t find my words. And I’m aware that I’m a bit slower. A few reasons why it bothers me? 1) This doesn’t feel like who I am. I feel like two different people. 2) This “other person” isn’t as fun / doesn’t feel very good to be. 3) I don’t have a word for it other than anxiety. I’ve read about social anxiety and can’t relate to a lot of others experiences. I can relate much more to selective mutism which is when a person feels unable to speak.
I’m irritable and my chest tightens. I need a good book about this.
No Chauvinists 